What is Your Focus?

Mind., Spirit and In-Spirit-ation, The Vent, Writing

I read this article and it coincides with an article my best friend Brittany sent me today about thoughts.

We can think about so much of what we do not want that we absolutely miss what God wants and the fact that we have the time and space to do what He is asking. I look at my life and see it as a tangle of yarn that I am trying to see how it got like that. If I look back over my year, I can see some highlights and some firsts, and even people who benefited. But (and I know it is a faux pas to start a sentence with but,) if my ball of yarn life is only fun to a kitten who randomly plays with it, rather than being a crochet blanket or pot holder that helps those closely surrounding me, am I really effective? And so no. I am not effective and I am not focused as June 5th, 2022. I am taking time to assess myself and my works and my faith and my intentions and my pride and my ego and my go-getter qualities that led to my will being done rather than God’s. And I pray that I will get on track in a timely and dedicated manner.

You know how you look back at your life and see points when you were so sure and so committed and so in the saddle and you wonder where that person has gone? Or what perfect circumstances where being held together or who were you studying or what were your habits and your thoughts?

The good thing about it is that we are alive and breathing.

The bad part about it is that we let it get here. I repent of the here I am at currently.

If I were to write out all the self-inflicted negatives, I would be thoroughly embarrassed because my actions do not reflect someone who knows Christ/God is the source of all their blessings. The main theme that you would see is a lack of stewardship, organization and planning. And I have actively tried in the past to correct those things but not with the gusto I really needed. I was doing it one toe in the water instead of fully jumping in and it goes back to my thoughts.

Do I really see myself as capable? Am I able to stand my ground and maintain in the face of opposition?

This article is the answer to all my running and escapism from the real problem: my own lack of focus.

I hope it helps you as much as it did me.

-R.S.

All My Trials

Family, Mind., RetroStank, Self Esteem, Spirit and In-Spirit-ation

folks wanna read that light, fluffy stuff, but I have to be real: life in 2015 is often full of doo-doo. 

I done took some hits, yall.

Like Langston Hughes, life sho ain’t been no crystal stair. 

  
I am asking God to tell me. Show me, what I must do. 

The “shucks” or “lowballs” are up in the thousands like those arrow-shaped waiting tickets near closing time…I been holding back the tears so long my mouth taste like  straight salt water from all the Undropped tears slipping back into my throat. I will tell you what my shortcomings are: too hard-headed, too self-reliant, uncommunicative about issues, and lately, a bad planner.

 I am striving.

 My husband is STRIVING. 

The systems, man, are structured against us. The odds are stacked like monoliths. 

BUT!

Jesus is the only one for me, when I think of Him. My mind is worry-free, so free, so free. All the struggles of this world can’t get me down. Cuz in Him, I found. In Him I found, sweet peace of mind. 

(Song here: http://youtu.be/AL8Ohs39O5Q)

That’s all folks.